A fantasy come true

Dear readers, I apologize for my absence. I understand my columns have been a little sporadic recently, and for that, I’m sorry. Though in all fairness, besides the end of midterms, I’ve sort of been having an existential crisis. What could I possibly be fretting about? I’m so happy you asked.

In my humble opinion, my columns have always been overwhelmingly entertaining, but there was a very specific topic that really skyrocketed me into local fame - my first year of family fantasy football. I had people coming up to me talking about my team and wishing me luck - shout out to fan Kerry Mikkelsen. Last year, my family started a NFL fantasy football league, despite over half of the family having less than zero previous football knowledge. I’m historically known for being atrociously unathletic, so why would my understanding of the sport be any different? As you may remember, despite my brother’s help, my lack of knowledge truly showed. I won the coveted prize of last place with three wins and 11 losses. I lost so badly that no one was remotely close to my record. I did, however, manage to beat my brother at least once - the only good thing I managed to do.

My family agreed to do another year of fantasy football, and I was determined to do better…and by that, I mean not getting last place. With a year under my belt, my brother declared that he would not help this year, which I was honestly fine with. He helped me last year, and look how much that helped. I researched and came in with a plan that automatically went out the window once the draft started. I basically blacked out. I was off to a great start. Despite the less than stellar draft, I was pleasantly surprised that my team wasn’t awful. In fact, it was doing pretty well. Jake even complimented me, saying “your team is balling”. I was scoring more points than I ever did last year, slowly understanding the game, learning the players, watching weekly game recaps, and constantly checking my phone to the point it became concerning. After a hot winning streak, I was feeling pretty good, especially considering Jake’s rough start. I originally thought he was making excuses, but despite his fairly decent team, the facts don't matter when compared to sheer luck. Despite averaging more points than a lot of family members, whenever he competed, his opponents had their best games of the entire season something the records showed.

When it was finally time for the sibling rivalry, I can report I not only beat him, I eviscerated him - not once but both times - crushing his spirit. To top it all off, it was me who killed any chance of him making it to the winners’ bracket. For almost the entirety of the season, he had the worst record in the league, and I continued to soar. As the league ended for the year, I’m proud to say I didn’t get last place. In fact, you’ll never believe it - I won. You heard that right, I won by miles (insert evil laugh). I finished the season with four loses and ten wins. I was averaging 30 more points than I did last year, and I did it all on my own with no help. The consensus was - I know way more about football than Jake. Maybe he’s the one who needs my help. Nothing makes him more heated than when I say I know so much about football. He loses his mind. At last, I finally have ammunition that annoys him as much as he manages to annoy me with everything else. I truly immersed myself into this season - my social media was only football. I was in the twilight zone. When did this become my life? I even initiated plans to watch the games with my cousins. My favorite was the AFC championship. I was given a very special outfit for Christmas this year. I cannot take myself seriously in it and declared to never wear it outside the house. However, my cousins absolutely love it. I wore my blinding-hot pink- velour jumpsuit to watch the game - not only for them but for Taylor Swift as well. I was truly the face of a fantasy football champion.

We, of course, also watched the s Super Bowl together as big Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift fans. Now, I’d like to state, I understand why people hate the Chiefs. I, too, find it slightly annoying at times. The media coverage is a lot, and they became slightly obnoxious. In truth, I think the team knew everyone was hating on them, so towards the end of the season, they couldn't have cared less about how they were perceived. People were going to hate them no matter what they did, so they openly embraced the hate, thus starting their villain era.

As I’ve watched more and more football, I have gravitated towards some teams, and admittedly, if I was forced to declare ‘my team’, it would be the 49ers. Please understand I state this loosely. I like specific players like Christian McCaffrey, George Kittle, and Kyle Juszczyk. This all started with one person, Brock Purdy. I was drawn in last season when he began playing regularly for the first time due to several team injuries. I love an underdog and slowly noticed “Mr. Irrelevant'' throughout the season. I learned more about each player as the season progressed and found myself rooting for them often.

To set the record straight, I am a fan of specific players and their families as a whole. After those players retire, will I still be a 49ers fan? Probably not, so I don’t know if I still qualify as a true fan. You also have to consider the fact that the team is currently doing well, so I probably fall under the title of bandwagoner, which is fine. You can call me a bandwagoner all you want, and I will accept that title from anyone but Jake. I won’t be getting a jersey anytime soon, unless Kyle Juszczyk’s wife makes a brand deal with the NFL. I will 100% jump on that opportunity because I am just as much a fan of Kristin Juszczyk as I am her husband. As the Super Bowl started, I didn’t think I cared about who won since I enjoyed people on both teams. I was composed for the entirety of the first half. That composure was gone in the third. When the Chiefs began their comeback, I realized how badly I wanted the 49ers to win. As we all know, that didn’t happen. At least I got to see plenty of Taylor Swift, Travis and Jason Kelce celebration moments.

This article is way overdue, but I’ve had to come to the terms that the NFL season is over. What else am I supposed to obsess over now? Homework? No thank you. Dear readers, I hope you enjoyed my tales on another football season. This is proof that dreams really do come true for even the most hopeless of people. I do have one request for you, please don’t ask me any football questions. I’m begging you. I’m no expert, the bar was just originally set really low. The odds of me being able to hold my own in a football related conversation are 25 out of 100. Last year, I asked myself the question, am I a football fan? This year the answer is, (hesitantly) yes.

Halle Sanders is from Langdon and attends Minnesota State University Moorhead. She developed her love for writing thanks to her sixth grade teacher, Mrs. Kathy Reuger. When not in school she enjoys spending time with her family and scrolling through social media. She is a self-proclaimed trendsetter and has a long list of celebrity crushes that include Spider- Man Actor, Tom Holland.